#CACrits

Calling All Critiques: Final Wrap-Up

The first Calling All Critiques event was a success!

On behalf of all the bloggers, I want to thank all entrants and participants for taking time out of your busy schedules to take part. We hope you enjoyed it and perhaps learned something along the way. Got any suggestions on how to make the next event a success? Leave them in the comments!

Third Week Visiting Winner

The third week’s visiting winner who either commented or followed one of the participating bloggers on Twitter is:

Simon Clark

You’ll receive an email soon. You have until Thursday to respond with further information for us to send you your prize. If we don’t hear from you by then, a runner-up will be chosen.

One more shout out to the bloggers!

Don’t forget to give some thanks to all our participating blogs and bloggers:

Again, thank you!

Calling All Critiques: Third Week Wrap-Up

Thank you to everyone who has participated so far in Calling All Critiques, whether you were a submitting author or a critiquer or just stopped by the blogs to see what was going on.

Second Week Visiting Winner

The second week’s visiting winner who either commented or followed one of the participating bloggers on Twitter is:

Alan Saxon

Alan, you should have received an email already. You have until Saturday to respond with further information for us to send you your prize. If we don’t hear from you by then, a runner-up will be chosen.

Query Letter / Book Blurb Random Winner

As a thank you to all the authors who submitted their work to be critiqued, we’ve randomly chosen one lucky winner who has a choice of the following prizes:

The query letter / book blurb week’s winner is:

Entrant #6
M.W.

M., look for an email in your inbox later today. You have until Sunday to respond as to which of the three prizes you want. If we don’t hear from you by then, a runner-up will be chosen. Once you choose your prize, we will provide you and the blogger with each other’s contact information to coordinate timing.

Final Wrap-Up Next Week

The final week’s Rafflecopter random giveaway of two eBooks and a $10 Amazon gift certificate ends on Sunday at midnight, so give some feedback on one of the earlier posts and maybe win some prizes:

http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/6928ae5/

One more shout out to the bloggers!

Don’t forget to give some thanks to all our participating blogs and bloggers:

See you again on Monday for the final wrap-up!

Calling All Critiques: Book Blurb Entry #1

Thank you, Ichabod Temperance, for submitting your synopsis and excerpt to Calling All Critiques! We are so happy to post your book cover and give feedback.

To all those interested in critiquing the art below, please be constructive, proactive, and helpful. Not all feedback has to be positive, but it must help the author improve and/or let him/her know what s/he is doing right and wrong. Your feedback is important to the author, so please provide details and suggestions in a polite way. More info on how to critique here.

Please also make sure to check out our Rafflecopter giveaway for your chance to win two books and an Amazon gift certificate! Critique then enter!

Author: Ichabod Temperance
Book title: The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance

Genre: Steampunk, Paranormal

~~

Synopsis from ‘A Matter of Temperance’

In a past that never was…
The year is 1869. Earth experiences the close pass of a comet never before seen. In its wake, many of Terra’s inhabitants find themselves changed. Among men, prodigies rise in unprecedented numbers, while many ordinary adults suddenly find themselves possessed of preternatural genius. Likewise, non-hominid animals become self-aware and intelligent.
Fast forward to 1875. A young “comet prodigy” from humble beginnings, Ichabod Temperance, has become the world’s foremost inventor. He travels to England to deliver his latest brilliant invention to a famous explorer, until Fate intervenes. Meanwhile, a lovely young Bluestocking, Miss Persephone Plumtartt, survives an experimental accident only to find herself imbued with a power she can neither understand nor control, while dark forces and malevolent creatures pursue her, leaving a gruesome wake of death.
Yet, worse is to come. The naïve young inventor and the lovely intellectual find themselves fighting not only to save their own lives, but to prevent the destruction of all life on Earth.
*
Excerpt from ‘For the Love of Temperance’

“Twas the hand of fate that brought Miss Plumtartt and me together, for in truth, we have been happenstance stricken and adventure prone ever since.”

I pet the gentle and loving Mr. Bolt on the head.

“Some of you may have noticed an unusual amount of intelligence and empathy with our little dog Mr. Bolt. Miss Plumtartt and I are of the mind that he too, has been affected by the Revelatory Comet. She and I believe that many animals have kept a certain amount of psychic ability that we as humans, over the course of evolution, have lost. Bolt here, would appear to have an incredible amount of astounding psychic control.”

“Bolt? Would you care to give a little demonstration?”

The little dog, as usual, seems to be following the conversation. Though I do not think he really understands my words, he clearly seems to be able to take my meaning, either by intonation, body gestures, or reading my mind.

He looks around the campfire at his companions.

My skin is itchy. It is as if my body hair is grown in very thickly. In fact, it feels as if I am covered in hair. No! It feels as if I am covered in fur!

I look to the WickeThimble players. They all seem to have an uncomfortable expression on their faces. So too, does Miss Plumtartt. I can tell that they are squirming under the sensation of a wiry pelt. They are trying to appear casual, and not like they are wearing terrier pajamas.

Bolt wags his tail and everyone jumps up to look behind themselves for the phantom appendage.

Then I experience getting bit. It is a tiny, but sharp, bite.

“Bolt!” I exclaim. “Do you have a flea, buddy?”

The little dog gives a whimper, poor little guy.

I notice a few of my friends wanting to scratch at the bite of a flea upon their person that I know is not there. In fact, they are even attempting to scratch at the flea bite with their hind legs. I mean rear legs. I mean, their feet.

“Oh! I shall go next, then, shall I?” exclaims Clarabelle Nightingale excitedly. She is practically blazing with her enthusiasm. Great heaps of curly Titian hair almost seem to burst into flame with her inner fire.

“I appreciate your candor and your wonderful tales,” Clarabelle casts a questioning glance over at Bolt. “Though I am still feeling as if I am covered over in itchy fur, and my right leg has an almost uncontrollable urge to scratch behind my right ear utilizing my toes as digging implements.”

Beaming from ear to ear, Clarabelle warms into her story.

“I guess it’s been seven years now since the ‘Revelatory Comet’. I was seventeen at the time. Before that, singing had always been a part of my life. I pretty much grew up in the church choir, often being selected for solo parts. In school, I would eagerly pursue any sort of singing chance that was available. In any school performance or production, I was always there, and usually earned a satisfyingly challenging role.

“However, with the Comet’s passing, I immediately knew that I could do far more with my voice than I had ever realized. I could conjure an image of the structures and harmonies. The wavelengths of the auditory vibrations were visualized in my mind as if by magic. Soon, I could selectively vibrate an object, just by the placement of my pitch. I can shatter glass and crystal. I can even select the particular target in mind, as opposed to endangering all fragile objects, but it was not these parlour tricks that helped me to gain fame. It was my admittedly enhanced singing skills that brought me much fame and attention. I was getting some good bookings, but alas, I allowed my own need to show off get me in trouble. It started with a single crystal from the grand chandelier of the Paris opera house. I thought it would be a nice touch, to burst a single crystal at the peak of my aria. It worked! It was so fantastically dramatic! The whole house caught their breath. Several ladies let out a whelp of surprise and fear. Though several people were gouged by descending shards of crystal, no one complained. In fact, it was such a thrilling moment, that those wounded were honoured to be a part of that incredible experience. They thanked me profusely for selecting the one particular crystal that would strike them. Others were miffed at me for not having been selected to have deadly shards of lead crystal rain down upon them.”

“The kind managers of the opera house were very happy with me. I apologized, insisting that I had gotten carried away by being able to perform in such a magnificent palace as their opera house, and that I was very sorry for any property damage done. The two gentlemen exchanged a queer look. They then informed me that, though for the briefest of moments, the two men were outraged at my callous impropriety. However, the occupant of a particular box seat, a gentleman of the most mysterious connections with the theater, let it be known that he was happy with the performance. It is said that the box is always reserved for him on the opening night of all the proud opera house’s shows. Because this gentleman has so much influence in the theater for some reason, they decided to let the issue drop. My protector even sent me a dozen roses, but mysteriously, his card only read, ‘P’.”

“Well, I thought to meself, Clarabelle, if one little crystal worked well for a bit of notoriety, maybe I’ll just turn it on just a wee bit more next time.”

“Oh, if I could only go back and do it again.”

“You see, our next show was in Lichtenstein, at the famous GuberGraüberz Hall. Some of the grandest crowned heads of Europe were in attendance. Prince Pimpzle Pauper, Duchess Poutsy Illtempertz, and even Queen Glarezalotte were there.”

“Word had spread of my performance in Paris and there was much excitement for another historic moment to be made. As I grew closer to the crescendo, I could feel the anticipation growing in the audience. I could make out parasols and umbrellas being brought to hand in readiness of a glass shower.”

At the fireside, Clarabelle drops her head in a moment of embarrassment. She then looks back up, much of her previous enthusiasm dampened.

“I was really in the moment. I knew that I was not going to disappoint my audience.”

“As I hit my final, ultimate note, I held it in a moment of extended bliss. I may have heard the chandelier shattering, but in truth, I was caught up in the musical ecstasy.”

“Eventually, I remember to end the note. Opening my eyes, I am shocked at the damage done. Not only has any glass or crystal in the house shattered, even opera glasses or monocles, it has mercifully been powderized back into sand. And there are a lot of monocles in Lichtenstein.”

“The entire audience has been blasted up against the back wall. Along with the seating. And it was bolted down.”

“But I think it was how I was able to peel the gold leaf from the balcony and surrounding ornate parapets that really made a lasting impression.”

“A few of the more sporting vocal enthusiasts provided a polite smattering of applause, but these brave aficionados were quickly shot down with a venomous look by Queen Glarezalotte. Her wig had been knocked asunder, her skirts thrown over her head, and several patrons, along with a few members of the orchestra, had landed atop of her royal highness during the furor of the performance.”

“‘Off with her head!’ the angry woman shrieked! I was very nearly executed on the spot. Fortunately, cooler heads prevailed long enough to rush me out of the wrecked Hall.”

“In a majestic rage, Queen Glarezalotte banished me from the kingdom and did everything she could to have me black-balled throughout the World.”

Several tongue snicks against the roofs of several mouths around the campfire click in sympathy. A few ‘Mmm. mmm, mmm’s,’ too.

There’s more to critique!

After leaving your comments, you can head over to one or more of these blogs to see some more great entries:

Calling All Critiques: Submit Your Query Letter or Book Blurb Now

Starting now, Calling All Critiques is accepting entries for your query letter or book blurb.

How to Enter

Submit your entry to Critiques@Saboviec.com. Cut and paste the following template into your email and fill it in.

Your name/pseudonym:
Your website (optional):
Title:

Genre (include audience, such as YA/Adult, and category):
Entry:

We’ve not assigned a limit to the number of words in your entry.

Acceptance of entries closes on Monday, June 9, at 8 p.m. EDT.

More Details

Questions? Check out some of the earlier blog posts or leave a comment below:

After You Submit…

After you submit, check out all the participating blogs and bloggers:

Thanks for being part of Calling All Critiques!

Calling All Critiques: Second Week Wrap-Up

Thank you to everyone who has participated so far in Calling All Critiques, whether you were a submitting author or a critiquer or just stopped by the blogs to see what was going on. The second week’s Rafflecopter random giveaway of two eBooks and a $10 Amazon gift certificate ends on Sunday at midnight, so give some feedback on one of the earlier posts and maybe win some prizes:

http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/6928ae4/

First Week Visiting Winner

The first week’s visiting winner who either commented or followed one of the participating bloggers on Twitter is:

Entry #49
Elliot W.

Elliot, you should have received an email yesterday. You have until Thursday to respond with further information for us to send you your prize. If we don’t hear from you by then, a runner-up will be chosen.

Cover Art Random Winner

As a thank you to all the authors who submitted their work to be critiqued, we’ve randomly chosen one lucky winner who has a choice of the following prizes:

This week’s winner is:

Entrant #9
Bob Cradock

Bob, look for an email in your inbox later today. You have until Friday to respond as to which of the three prizes you want. If we don’t hear from you by then, a runner-up will be chosen. Once you choose your prize, we will provide you and the blogger with each other’s contact information to coordinate timing.

Next Week: Query Letter or Book Blurb Critique

Starting Saturday, June 7, 2014, at 6 a.m. Eastern and ending Monday, June 9, 2014, at 8 p.m. Eastern, submit your query letter or book blurb to Critiques@Saboviec.com. Cut and paste the following template into your email and fill it in.

The name you want to be known by:
Your website (optional):
Title:

Genre (include audience, such as YA/Adult, and category):
Entry:

We’re not imposing a word limit for this critique; however, you already know that too long isn’t going to get you an agent or interest in your novel, right?

This week’s deadline: Monday, June 9, 2014, at 8 p.m.

No changes for the rest of this from last week: Your entry will be assigned a number in the order in which it is received. Our cutoff is 30 entries. Entries 1-6 will be posted on our blogs Monday morning, entries 7-12 will be posted on our blogs Tuesday morning, etc.

Your email will be kept confidential. What you submit is what will be posted, so double- and triple-check your spelling and grammar. (We may correct crazy formatting errors as a result of email quirks, but still, make sure it’s clean before you press send.) You may resubmit an entry, but it goes to the end of the queue: if you submit it past the 30-entry cutoff, you’ll have lost your spot.

All 30 accepted entrants will be entered into the prize drawing, and the winner will be chosen by their assigned number through Random.org.

As always, if you don’t want both positive and negative feedback, please don’t enter. This event is for us to help one another grow as authors and maybe to make some friends in the process.

Some fine print: Entries that don’t include the above information will be discarded. At our sole discretion, we may also discard other posts for reasons such as offensive/distasteful material. Erotica may be confined only to certain blogs, and we may put an adult content warning on it.

If You Enter, Please …

Critique other entrants. The sky’s the limit on how many other entries you critique, but we ask that you at least provide feedback to two other participants.

Also, when you receive feedback on your entry, be gracious if you decide to respond. We would highly suggest not responding except for perhaps a “thank you,” but you’re going to do what you’re going to do, aren’t you? Don’t be defensive or explanatory; these critiques are for you to improve your writing. Take what you want and leave the rest behind.

And If You Critique, Please …

Be nice. Be constructive. Be specific. Be polite.

Mean-spirited or spam posts will be deleted. General “I love everything about it and I think you’re the next J.K. Rowling, ZOMG!” obviously-written-about-your-best-friend comments won’t be deleted, but that’s tacky. Don’t be tacky.

Join us for more fun next week!

While you wait, check out all the participating blogs and bloggers:

We look forward to seeing you back here soon.

Any questions? Leave them in the comments!

Calling All Critiques: Cover Art Entry #7

We’ve had a lot of amazing book covers in our cover art edition of Calling All Critiques! It’s been wonderful to see so much effort put into great design work to fit the storyline and genre. Speaking of which, our final cover is ready to be critiqued!

~~

Author: Lucy Beebe Tobias
Website: http://www.LucyTobias.com
Title: Mary Margaret Manatee: the adventures of a young Florida manatee
Genre: picture book, grandparents, children ages 5-10

MMMcoverlowres

Thanks to everyone who participated in the cover art event, and thank you to all the wonderful authors who submitted their covers! We hope you’ve had plenty of useful feedback.

Don’t forget to enter our Rafflecopter giveaway whether you’ve critiqued a cover or submitted one.

Calling All Critiques: Cover Art Entry #3

Thank you, J Edward Neill, for submitting your cover art entry to Calling All Critiques! We are so happy to post your book cover and give feedback.

To all those interested in critiquing the art below, please be constructive, proactive, and helpful. Not all feedback has to be positive, but it must help the author improve and/or let him/her know what s/he is doing right and wrong. Your feedback is important to the author, so please provide details and suggestions in a polite way. More info on how to critique here.

Please also make sure to check out our Rafflecopter giveaway for your chance to win two books and an Amazon gift certificate! Critique then enter!

Author: J Edward Neill
Website: www.DownTheDarkPath.com
Book title: Dark Moon Daughter

Genre: Adult / Dark Fantasy

Dark Moon Daughter cover

Leave your critiques below! The author appreciates your feedback.

There’s more to critique!

After leaving your comments, you can head over to one or more of these blogs to see some more great entries:

Calling All Critiques: Submit Your Cover Art

Starting now, Calling All Critiques is accepting entries for your cover art.

How to Enter

Submit your entry to Critiques@Saboviec.com. Cut and paste the following template into your email and fill it in.

Your name/pseudonym:
Your website (optional):
Title:

Genre (include audience, such as YA/Adult, and category):

Attach your cover art to the email in a standard format (.jpg, .gif, .png preferred). Make sure it’s big enough to be legible when viewed at full-size on a standard web browser.

This week, we will keep accepting entries through Monday or Tuesday, depending on interest. If you get them in before 8 p.m. EDT and spots are open, you will go into the next day’s round.

More Details

Questions? Check out some of the earlier blog posts or leave a comment below:

After You Submit…

After you submit, check out all the participating blogs and bloggers:

Thanks for being part of Calling All Critiques!

Calling All Critiques: First Week Wrap-Up

Thank you to everyone who has participated in our first week of Calling All Critiques, whether you were a submitting author or a critiquer or just stopped by the blogs to see what was going on. The Rafflecopter random giveaway of two eBooks and a $10 Amazon gift certificate ends on Sunday at midnight, so give some feedback on one of the earlier posts and maybe win some prizes:

http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/6928ae2/

First 500 Word Random Winner

As a thank you to all the authors who submitted their work to be critiqued, we’ve randomly chosen one lucky winner who has a choice of the following prizes:

This week’s winner is:

Entrant #5
Toya Barnette

Toya, look for an email in your inbox later today. You have until Sunday to respond as to which of the three prizes you want. If we don’t hear from you by then, a runner-up will be chosen. Once you choose your prize, we will provide you and the blogger with each other’s contact information to coordinate timing.

Next Week: Cover Art Critique

Starting Saturday, May 31, 2014 at 6 a.m., submit your cover art to Critiques@Saboviec.com. Cut and paste the following template into your email and fill it in.

The name you want to be known by:
Your website (optional):
Title:

Genre (include audience, such as YA/Adult, and category):

Attach your cover art to the email in a standard format (.jpg, .gif, .png preferred). Make sure it’s big enough to be legible when viewed at full size on a standard web browser.

Updated info for this week: Your entry will be assigned a number in the order in which it is received. Our cutoff is now 30 entries. Entries 1-6 will be posted on our blogs Monday morning, entries 7-12 will be posted on our blogs Tuesday morning, etc. This week, we will keep accepting entries through Monday or Tuesday, depending on interest. If you get them in before 8 p.m. EDT and spots are open, you will go into the next day’s round.

And all the rest is the same: Your email will be kept confidential. What you submit is what will be posted, so double- and triple-check your spelling and grammar. (We may correct crazy formatting errors as a result of email quirks, but still, make sure it’s clean before you press send.) You may resubmit an entry, but it goes to the end of the queue: if you submit it past the 30-entry cutoff, you’ll have lost your spot.

All 30 accepted entrants will be entered into the prize drawing, and the winner will be chosen by their assigned number through Random.org.

As always, if you don’t want both positive and negative feedback, please don’t enter. This event is for us to help one another grow as authors and maybe to make some friends in the process.

Some fine print: Entries that don’t include the above information will be discarded. At our sole discretion, we may also discard other posts for reasons such as offensive/distasteful material. Erotica may be confined only to certain blogs, and we may put an adult content warning on it.

If You Enter, Please …

Critique other entrants. The sky’s the limit on how many other entries you critique, but we ask that you at least provide feedback to two other participants.

Also, when you receive feedback on your entry, be gracious if you decide to respond. We would highly suggest not responding except for perhaps a “thank you,” but you’re going to do what you’re going to do, aren’t you? Don’t be defensive or explanatory; these critiques are for you to improve your writing. Take what you want and leave the rest behind.

And If You Critique, Please …

Be nice. Be constructive. Be specific. Be polite.

Mean-spirited or spam posts will be deleted. General “I love everything about it and I think you’re the next J.K. Rowling, ZOMG!” obviously-written-about-your-best-friend comments won’t be deleted, but that’s tacky. Don’t be tacky.

Join us for more fun next week!

While you wait, check out all the participating blogs and bloggers:

We look forward to seeing you back here soon.

Any questions? Leave them in the comments!

Calling All Critiques: Entry #14

This is the final day of 500 word excerpts for Calling All Critiques! Thank you to all who participated – we hope you found the critiques you received useful. Next week we’ll have book covers in need of critiques, so stay tuned!

Don’t forget to enter our raffle to win a $10 Amazon gift card, an eCopy of It Ain’t Easy Being Jazzy by Quanie Miller, and an eCopy of Guarding Angel by S. L. Saboviec. This is your last chance!

http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/6928ae2/

And now, on to the final critique.

~~

Author: Robert L. Slater
Website: www.desertedlands.com
Genre: YA/Adult Science Fiction
Entry:

*STRAIGHT INTO DARKNESS*
A Deserted Lands novel*.*

LIZZIE SLUNK BETWEEN THE CIRCLES of lights on the snow-scattered streets. The night’s cold bit at her through the layers of clothing she’d added after escaping. Her second day of freedom—slept away in an uncollected house—faded into the past. Happy Belated-f___ing Birthday, Lizzie. Now someone followed her. Or maybe paranoia lied to her again.

Her pace quickened, the baby in her belly kept her core warm, but her fear sent her running. She jogged down the center of the street away from the drifting snow that would give her path away.

Like her feared pursuer, the houses watched her; like hollow ghouls they represented the human deaths, the costs of the pandemic. Her heart twisted at the thought of her own dead. Mama, keep me safe. Jayce, help Mama not be too lonely. Lizzie wished she could hear their voices, see their pictures and videos. But that cell phone had died in the burning car. Stupid. Months later she still kicked herself for her forgetfulness and lack of focus.

A car engine hummed down a nearby street. She slid behind a wooden fence and found a knothole she could use to spy on the car. Good thing she’d hidden—one of The City’s finest. He looked like a cop, not just someone who had become one since the Quieting. That might make him better at his job.

He couldn’t be looking for her. No one should even know she was gone until she didn’t show up for Monday morning chores, cleaning up after breakfast in the cafeteria. Somebody might notice she didn’t show up for breakfast, but breakfast wasn’t mandatory for the preggers. They’d assume she’d prioritized sleep or felt nauseous. She should have had another day. She needed that day. Dammit. The cop stopped at the next intersection and turned a circle inside it, then another and stopped. Was he bored?

The patrol car sat idling. The door opened. Lizzie scanned behind herself, she needed to move. She slipped against the house and worked her way around, eyes peeled and ears open to anything. The car door closed. The engine revved and moved away from her. At the edge of the street, she waited behind another parked car until it turned onto a side street. Then she raced across.

This mission wasn’t what she’d imagined. It should have been easy. The night curfew meant no one on the streets. That was the mistake. No one except her. She needed to get out of the central district and into the suburbs. The viaduct cut across her path. She lowered herself down its incline on her butt. Ice covered the bottom, but she’d be more hidden. Unless, of course, someone had seen her go down and then there was no escape.

She slid along the ice for several blocks, but it slowed her down. She crawled out to streets blown clean of snow. Anger fueled her feet on the bare pavement, she ran, ignoring the mild stitch in her side and the uncomfortable bounce from the extra fat her body was piling up.

~~

Liked critiquing this piece? There’s more to critique!

Or critique another piece on Proof Positive’s blog:

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