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Go That Extra Mile!

Sep 8, 2014 | Writing

by Anita Stratos, Proof Positive Editor

Your book is edited, polished, published, and out there for the world to enjoy. You’ve got it listed on Amazon, its beautiful cover (that you agonized over getting just right) beckoning readers with its siren call, “You want me!”

Is that enough? No, it’s just the beginning.

You need to write a good come-hither summary for your Amazon listing. Something that whets readers’ appetites for your story, a real teaser that shows them your characters are interesting and your story is one they just must read.

And while a good summary is important, people also want to know something about the writer behind the words. Too many authors miss this prime opportunity to connect with potential readers. They forget about Amazon’s Author Pages, a great way to introduce yourself to your readers. It doesn’t need to be a lengthy life story – nor should it be – just enough information relative to you as an author.

If you want, you can also include a short paragraph at the end about your next work in progress, but remember to update that part when the work in progress becomes a published book. Make sure to include a good picture of yourself with your bio, one that suits the types of books you write.

With both the summary and your bio, double check, triple check, and quadruple check for errors. You can lose lots of sales if readers see obvious mistakes; they’ll naturally figure the book will be poorly written too. And we’ve read endless accounts, from blogs all the way up to the New York Times, about how much readers hate seeing too many typos, misspellings, and other mistakes, not to mention plot and character inconsistencies and other errors. In fact, many books have been returned to Amazon with complaints about numerous errors – and Amazon has refunded the buyers’ money. Don’t be that author.

On the other hand, books that have been well proofread are noticed and appreciated. In a review of book Proof Positive proofread, the reviewer wrote, “I appreciate that she gave her readers clean spelling and punctuation.”

Reviews are important to sales on Amazon, so ask for them from friends, family members, and readers who are willing to write reviews in exchange for a free copy of your book.

Go the extra mile and you may be rewarded with extra sales!

Hired Guns: Paying Someone To Research Your Book

Aug 25, 2014 | Writing

Does it help or hinder your book to hire someone else to do the research?

That’s the question of the day. Some editing businesses offer to do writers’ research for them – for a fee, of course. While it may sound good to save yourself all that research time, is it really worth it? Will your writing suffer or lack depth if you write with research that’s handed to you instead of digging up the goods yourself?

The quality of the end result will answer those questions, but personally, I wouldn’t hand off researching my own work to anyone else even if they paid me instead of the other way around. When writers try to cut the time they spend on their books, it’s usually noticeable.

There are lots of potential pitfalls that come with giving someone else the responsibility of doing your research. Not only may a researcher determine some worthwhile things to be unimportant (let’s face it, we all think differently), but you won’t see the small gems hidden within the research that could trigger a new idea. Or it could lead to additional depth of a character, more chapters, a new subplot, or even the spark of a sequel or a whole other new book. You’re essentially depriving yourself – and your readers – of newfound knowledge.

Then suppose something in the researcher’s notes catches your attention and requires further research – you’ll probably have to pay again, depending on your agreement and how much follow-up work needs to be done. You may end up taking the same amount of time or even more time in reviewing findings, amending requests, changing angles, asking questions, etc. Since you wouldn’t be doing the work yourself, you may need to keep redirecting the researcher or asking them to go back and look for more pieces of the puzzle or more credible information. In a worst case scenario, you may find that avenue isn’t working for your story and you need to go in an entirely different direction.

You also need to be sure the researcher is at least double checking, if not triple checking, any facts they come up with. (I’m not talking about hiring a historian to do important fact-checking, I’m talking about a generic researcher who’s not particularly knowledgeable in any specific field.) We all know how much misinformation there is online, so you have to be sure they’re checking credible sites. Even book research can be outdated, so updated sources need to be checked too, especially when you’re dealing with historical fiction. Many old conclusions have been disproven when new information is uncovered over the decades.

I’m not against hiring researchers per se – the point is that I’m for the unexpected discoveries of doing it yourself. I’ve always found it adds richness, depth, and dimension to my own work that I’d never have known about otherwise.

How do you feel about doing your own research? Have you had any experience with a hired researcher?

Why Freelance Writing is Your Creative Writing Inspiration

Aug 8, 2014 | Writing

by Anita Stratos, Proof Positive editor

One thing I’ve noticed about the writing world – it likes to separate itself into groups. I’m not talking about genres. Two of the main groups I’ve noticed are “Writing for Hire” and “Creative Writing”, and members of each can sometimes cast disapproving glances at the other.

Though it may seem that never the twain shall meet, they do…if you look at your paid gigs through creative eyes.

I’ve had about 1,000 articles published, most of which are in print publications, but a couple hundred are in either online publications or publications that are both online and in print. I can safely say that only a scant few of all those published pieces are completely devoid of fodder for my fiction writing.

Here’s an example.

When I was writing feature newspaper pieces, I had an assignment to interview a man who trains guard dogs. The focus of the article was not only to discuss his business and how he happened to get into it, but also how people could train their own dogs in property protection.

Sounds simple, right?

Well, you just never know. And that’s one of the things I love about freelance writing.

While heading to do the interview, I had to double check the address when, in an upscale suburban town, I turned my car into the one and only driveway that looked like a jungle, completely enveloped by overgrown trees, vines, and shrubbery gone wild. I could almost hear the call of macaws and the roar of lions. The entire property was isolated by quite a few acres of “jungle”, so there were no immediate neighbors.

When my car emerged from the long, overgrown driveway, I was greeted by the sound of deep, angry barks coming from huge, muscular dogs in crates; none of them looked happy to see me. Their crates were scattered on the hard dirt ground around a small red ramshackle house that had seen much better days.

I was terrified to get out of my car. I had arrived on time, so I waited for my interviewee to Baddog come out of the house, since his living alarms had all gone off and were making more of a racket than Fourth of July fireworks.

But no one came out, so I called him from my cell phone. He laughed and told me I didn’t have to worry about the dogs, but I wasn’t buying it – they hadn’t taken their eyes off me and looked like they wanted to tear right through the cage bars to get at my throat. He laughingly agreed to come out.

His appearance shocked me. He was about ninety years old and on the frail side, with unkempt flowing white hair, a worn red plaid shirt, and jeans from 1950. He didn’t look like he could stop an ant, let alone stop one of those massive dogs from attacking. I figured we’d talk about the dogs (quickly), tour his training grounds (very quickly), and I could get the heck out of there.

Not so.

He escorted me between the cages and into the house, despite every one of my own internal alarms going off. The rooms were tiny, outdated by decades with torn furniture, and there were yet more cages with hundred-pound dogs growling and barking. These didn’t seem like trained guard dogs – they acted more like hungry attack dogs.

That isn’t the end of the story, but you get the idea.

This and many other interesting situations (thankfully not as dangerous) happened regularly in my life as a “writer for hire”. The possibility for storylines, subplots, and quirky characters is endless, even when you interview people and write about situations that aren’t as extreme. So many things can be discovered during interview conversations that it’s an endless supply of behaviors, quirks, language use and misuse, habits, surroundings – the list goes on and on.

So don’t turn your nose up at freelance writing to supplement your income as a fiction writer, just view it as living, breathing fodder for your novels…that you’re getting paid to discover.

Meet Author TC Michael

Aug 1, 2014 | Authors

Author TC Michael describes himself as being “an epic daydreamer with a wild imagination”, and nothing could better prove this description than his first full-length novel, Secret of the Last Born. The first in the Dark Rising series, Michael mixes common fables and folklore with his own complex fantasy world in a unique, action-packed book of mystery, romance, and self-discovery. Proof Positive is excited to share our interview with this burgeoning young author.

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Is this your first book? How long did it take you to plan it before you began writing it?

Yes and no. This is my first full-length book, but I have had a few short pieces published in the past. With this being my first novel I realized after I wrote the book that there is no “too much” or “too long” on planning. I spent roughly two months in the planning phase before I started the first rough draft.

Is this book part of a series? If so, when can we look forward to the next book being published?

Yes! Secret of the Last Born is book 1 in the Dark Rising series. Book two will be out no later than the end of February, but there isn’t an official release date yet.

Do you mostly write in this particular genre or do you dabble in other genres? If so, which ones?

So far I have only written in the fantasy genre, but I definitely have plans in the future to expand that reach.

What do you think makes your work stand apart from other works in your genre?

Secret of the Last Born is a story about magic, love, and loss. It’s full of twists, turns, and conflicts. But I think the main reason that it stands out from the rest is because it has a good sense of realism. Not in a direct way, but in a way where magic doesn’t take over and the reader forgets about the real world that the characters live in. You will always be able to find a sense of connection with the characters because they are like you, and probably in more than one way.

Are any of the characters in your book based on people you know or have seen/talked to in real life?

I would say most of the characters seen in Secret of the Last Born are based upon multiple characteristics from multiple people. I definitely like to base fictional characters on people in real life, but in this book that isn’t the case. As planning continued I decided the characters would just slowly come together, and that’s what happened.

Do your friends and family know you’re a writer? Were they surprised when you told them?

Most know that I am a writer. There are still a few who don’t know, but all of those close to me know that I’m a writer, and that’s what I love doing. I would say “surprised” would describe maybe a quarter of them. Most of them expected it because I’ve always loved writing. I have had a really supportive family to keep me going.

What inspires you to write? Music? Other books? Real life events? Just an incredible imagination?

Many things! Other books, wonderful authors, mostly life events – both bad and good, and a very good imagination. Throughout my younger years I used to spend countless hours every day imagining different worlds, and imagining our world if things had gone differently in the past.

Are you part of any writers’ groups? If so, what do you like about them? How do they help you or inspire you? If not, why not?

I am not part of any writers’ groups…yet. But I will be soon!

Do you plan your writing out with outlines, character development exercises, and other pre-writing activities? Or do you just write as it comes to you?

I think many authors have one set routine, and some authors just go with whatever they think will work for that specific story they want to tell. In a sense, I’m the type that will go with whatever they think will help the situation the best, but I am beginning to form my own routine. With Secret of the Last Born, I realized the method that works very well is as follows: Get idea>brainstorm details>list details>character ideas>form characters and character backgrounds>outline (at least two drafts)>ask others what they think about the idea. This is the basic structure of preparing; there are several smaller details that I didn’t add, but you get the point.

Did you do any research for this book?

Yes, and research is harder work than most think! You have to search for long periods of time until you find exactly what you’re looking for. Even if it’s only a minor detail. With this being my first full-length book I feel like I could’ve done a bit more research, but hey, it takes practice to become a great writer. Research is very important for all books, and I think without it you would have a story that no one is interested in.

Do you read the kinds of books you like to write? Do you watch movies similar to or the same genre as your writing?

Oh you better believe it. I read all kinds of books, but probably 85% of them are in the same genre I’m writing. Movies are a little different; I’m a huge move fanatic, I love watching movies of all kinds. I certainly watch a lot of movies in the same genre though!

If you could write anywhere in the world – in a fictional or non-fictional place – where would you write?

1. At home 2. At any huge, quiet, shady park 3. On the mountains. There are too many fictional places to count, but I would write at all of those places too!

~~~

Connect with TC Michael:
Twitter
Amazon
Goodreads
Facebook

Check out Secret of the Last Born:
Amazon US
Amazon UK

Intention vs. Reality in Writing

Jul 17, 2014 | Writing

“But Your Honor, I intended to help that little old lady across the street. Her purse handle just happened to loop over my arm, and I didn’t realize it was there until I was several blocks away and that cop tackled me!”

Do you think any judge in the world would believe that statement? More importantly, do you think he even cares about the thought process or supposed intention the defendant had? No? Well, the same thing goes for writing – readers are your judges, and they don’t know or care about your intentions, they only know and care about what’s actually written on the page.

And since the only reality your readers know is what they read, you have to make your intentions perfectly clear in the written word. Readers can’t stop to think about what you Question_Guy may have intended when a scene or sentence doesn’t quite make sense or fit with a character’s personality or situation. Nor should they have to. And they’re not mind readers either.

Sometimes when we’re writing, we’re so in touch with our characters and their situations that we don’t clarify our intentions in a scene well enough.

Have you ever had a teacher whose lectures could only be understood by someone already knowledgeable in the field, while those of us on the “outside” couldn’t grasp their meaning? Or read instructions that skipped over the details and assumed the user would just “get it”? I think we’ve all experienced at least one of these things; personally, I’ve been on the receiving end of both. And it’s very frustrating.

Writers hire editors to take an objective look at their work before it’s published – at that point, the editor is one of your first readers, so if something is unclear or confusing to her/him, it will most likely be unclear to your future readers as well.

An editor’s job is to point out these problems within a story and suggest a better way.
A writer’s job is to take that point constructively and seriously consider the possibility that it needs modification in order to be easily understood or fit with the rest of the story.

But sometimes a writer is so married to their work that they become defensive about every line, even saying that they think readers will understand their intentions that aren’t written or just allow for incongruous scenes. If you, as a writer, hear yourself saying that, STOP. While the final decision always belongs to the writer as to how the book is written, it serves your book – and your readers – best if you consider the possibility that your intentions are not coming across in your writing.

The upshot: unless you’re writing experimental literature in which readers expect and want to spend time figuring things out, your words need to clearly convey your intentions, not suggest or skirt them.

Meet Author Michelle Diana Lowe

Jul 5, 2014 | Authors

“Fearless” is the best word to describe Michelle Diana Lowe’s just-published book, The Glass Heart Girl. Lowe’s incredible book breaks barriers rarely crossed in such detail with grace and honesty you won’t readily find elsewhere. The Glass Heart Girl was just published yesterday, and Lowe took the time to write a guest post about herself as a writer, her book, and why she wrote on such a sensitive topic.

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About Me

I am Michelle Diana Lowe, the author of the new adult romance novel The Glass Heart Girl. I was born in East London and continue to live in this area. I wrote my very first children’s book of 20,000 words at the tender age of nine and since then, I have loved writing. I adore creative writing and seeing a character grow and develop before my very eyes. I now write professionally and have two published books, Heaven Calls For An Angel and Dangerous Calculations. The Glass Heart Girl is my third book, but my first full-length fiction novel. This book is the standalone sequel of Dangerous Calculations.

What Is The Glass Heart Girl About?

A unique but powerful book, The Glass Heart Girl set to take the new adult romance genre to a whole new level. It is a deep and riveting story about one young woman’s momentous journey as she strives to overcome her traumatic past, learns about the true meaning of love and tries to embrace a new life with the man she loves.

Twenty year old Alena Pavlis is a beautiful college student who meets the gorgeous Phillip Gregson during the Freshers’ Fair at The University of Leicester. She is immediately drawn to Phillip and falls head over heels in love with him. But her past is seeping into her consciousness and threatens to destroy their special relationship. Phillip and Becca, her floormate and best friend, support her as best they can, but when a face from five years ago comes back into Alena’s life, her world spins into chaos and she finds herself at a dangerous crossroads. It is at this crucial moment that Alena must decide to vanquish the demons of the past and fight for the beautiful life that she deserves – or let the past devour her.

Personal and Positive Perspectives

The Glass Heart Girl carries a very positive and hopeful message about a woman’s courage and bravery to face her innermost fears and work towards a happier future. It also serves as a guide for young women who are facing similar issues. I sculpted Alena’s character in such a way that she would be relatable to women 17 and older, and so that people could understand and/or identify with her situation better. I am so thankful that I have created a novel covering real issues that can help women in Alena’s position move forward with their lives.

What to expect from The Glass Heart Girl

The Glass Heart Girl is full of life and zest – it deals with both the fun and challenges of university life. There are strong, honest friendships, deep romantic relationships, painful past experiences coming to the surface and the normal things you’d expect from 20-year-old college students – mucking about in the dorm corridors, petty arguments between friends, jealousy, breakups and make ups and more.

On a more serious note, wider issues in society are addressed in a sensible and appropriate fashion, and the book does tackle young people’s attitudes towards love and relationships.

Younger women between 17 and 30 will be able to relate to and understand the young, vibrant characters that I have created. Not only will they laugh out loud in certain chapters, but they will also be moved by the emotional and heartfelt aspects to the book. For the many women who are going through what Alena has experienced, this novel will not only help them on the road to recovery, but will also help them realize they are not alone. I think that more books like The Glass Heart Girl should be written to heal, bolster and empower women.

Why I Wrote This Book

I wanted to give a voice to young women who have gone through really difficult experiences. These people’s experiences are often overlooked or disregarded, in fiction and in real life too. I have always been someone who champions people who don’t have a real voice in society and am very passionate about bringing their experiences to the forefront. It is just in my nature to be this way. I also work with vulnerable clients as part of my job as an administrator. I listen to these people’s stories, sometimes sad and even heartbreaking, and I signpost or refer these clients to counselling services, therapy or Family Support Services, which will support their needs and that of their families while helping them work through difficult issues and emotions. So I can, to some degree, understand and can identify with Alena’s story.

In real life, women who have gone through the trauma of gender violence and abuse are often sidelined and marginalised. Their stories, usually told in nonfiction books, focus heavily on the negative and lasting effects these events have on their lives. Often the stories are very downbeat until the end, when the victim might possibly overcome the trauma. I did not want to depict Alena in this way. Firstly, it was important for me to make a victim of gender violence and abuse a heroine and give her a chance to be in the spotlight, and I really wanted to write a book that did not focus on her traumatic past so decidedly. From the very start, I inject hope and laughter into Alena’s world, giving her a zany but caring best friend in Becca, as well as a supportive boyfriend in Phillip.

As you can see, this all adds up to The Glass Heart Girl‘s publication date of July 4th being very significant. I published the novel on Independence Day to symbolise Alena’s bravery and determination to fight for her independence from the past and embrace her future.

Supporting the Cause

I am dedicated to raising awareness of issues relating to gender violence and abuse against women and girls to help society understand what such individuals go through. Raising awareness of these problems will also help others to be more supportive of those around them who might be suffering similar difficulties. I will be making a small donation per book sold to Women & Girls Network, a sensational London charity that supports women and children who have experienced gender violence, rape and domestic violence. They offer support and counselling services to help these individuals work through their problems and cope with the trauma of the past so they can hopefully move forward with their lives.

Commending the Editors

I really don’t think that Christie Stratos realises how amazing she is and how sensational her company Proof Positive is. From the moment I contacted her and she proofread the first five pages of The Glass Heart Girl, she totally embraced my characters and got exactly what the book is about. I cannot believe how Morgan and Christie who edited my book, understood my characters so deeply; namely Alena, my protagonist. They also recognised the positive and important messages the novel is sending to women suffering problems similar to Alena. I would like to thank them both from the bottom of my heart, for the extraordinary job they did on my manuscript. I was so tearful and blown away when I received it back, flawless and perfect, with my characters and story thoroughly polished. I can now see the true message of The Glass Heart Girl shining through the manuscript. I thank Morgan and Christie for their hard work, enthusiasm and sheer dedication. You guys are so great at what you do, and I will be recommending you to all of my writer friends.

The Glass Heart Girl will be released on July 4, 2014 and is available as an ebook and in paperback from Amazon, and in ebook format from Kobo.

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Connect with Michelle Diana Lowe:

Website
Twitter
Amazon
Goodreads

THE GLASS HEART GIRL EBOOK COVER

Calling All Critiques: Book Blurb Entry #1

Jun 9, 2014 | Offers

Thank you, Ichabod Temperance, for submitting your synopsis and excerpt to Calling All Critiques! We are so happy to post your book cover and give feedback.

To all those interested in critiquing the art below, please be constructive, proactive, and helpful. Not all feedback has to be positive, but it must help the author improve and/or let him/her know what s/he is doing right and wrong. Your feedback is important to the author, so please provide details and suggestions in a polite way. More info on how to critique here.

Please also make sure to check out our Rafflecopter giveaway for your chance to win two books and an Amazon gift certificate! Critique then enter!

Author: Ichabod Temperance
Book title: The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance
Genre: Steampunk, Paranormal

Synopsis from ‘A Matter of Temperance’

In a past that never was…
The year is 1869. Earth experiences the close pass of a comet never before seen. In its wake, many of Terra’s inhabitants find themselves changed. Among men, prodigies rise in unprecedented numbers, while many ordinary adults suddenly find themselves possessed of preternatural genius. Likewise, non-hominid animals become self-aware and intelligent.
Fast forward to 1875. A young “comet prodigy” from humble beginnings, Ichabod Temperance, has become the world’s foremost inventor. He travels to England to deliver his latest brilliant invention to a famous explorer, until Fate intervenes. Meanwhile, a lovely young Bluestocking, Miss Persephone Plumtartt, survives an experimental accident only to find herself imbued with a power she can neither understand nor control, while dark forces and malevolent creatures pursue her, leaving a gruesome wake of death.
Yet, worse is to come. The naïve young inventor and the lovely intellectual find themselves fighting not only to save their own lives, but to prevent the destruction of all life on Earth.
*
Excerpt from ‘For the Love of Temperance’

“Twas the hand of fate that brought Miss Plumtartt and me together, for in truth, we have been happenstance stricken and adventure prone ever since.”

I pet the gentle and loving Mr. Bolt on the head.

“Some of you may have noticed an unusual amount of intelligence and empathy with our little dog Mr. Bolt. Miss Plumtartt and I are of the mind that he too, has been affected by the Revelatory Comet. She and I believe that many animals have kept a certain amount of psychic ability that we as humans, over the course of evolution, have lost. Bolt here, would appear to have an incredible amount of astounding psychic control.”

“Bolt? Would you care to give a little demonstration?”

The little dog, as usual, seems to be following the conversation. Though I do not think he really understands my words, he clearly seems to be able to take my meaning, either by intonation, body gestures, or reading my mind.

He looks around the campfire at his companions.

My skin is itchy. It is as if my body hair is grown in very thickly. In fact, it feels as if I am covered in hair. No! It feels as if I am covered in fur!

I look to the WickeThimble players. They all seem to have an uncomfortable expression on their faces. So too, does Miss Plumtartt. I can tell that they are squirming under the sensation of a wiry pelt. They are trying to appear casual, and not like they are wearing terrier pajamas.

Bolt wags his tail and everyone jumps up to look behind themselves for the phantom appendage.

Then I experience getting bit. It is a tiny, but sharp, bite.

“Bolt!” I exclaim. “Do you have a flea, buddy?”

The little dog gives a whimper, poor little guy.

I notice a few of my friends wanting to scratch at the bite of a flea upon their person that I know is not there. In fact, they are even attempting to scratch at the flea bite with their hind legs. I mean rear legs. I mean, their feet.

“Oh! I shall go next, then, shall I?” exclaims Clarabelle Nightingale excitedly. She is practically blazing with her enthusiasm. Great heaps of curly Titian hair almost seem to burst into flame with her inner fire.

“I appreciate your candor and your wonderful tales,” Clarabelle casts a questioning glance over at Bolt. “Though I am still feeling as if I am covered over in itchy fur, and my right leg has an almost uncontrollable urge to scratch behind my right ear utilizing my toes as digging implements.”

Beaming from ear to ear, Clarabelle warms into her story.

“I guess it’s been seven years now since the ‘Revelatory Comet’. I was seventeen at the time. Before that, singing had always been a part of my life. I pretty much grew up in the church choir, often being selected for solo parts. In school, I would eagerly pursue any sort of singing chance that was available. In any school performance or production, I was always there, and usually earned a satisfyingly challenging role.

“However, with the Comet’s passing, I immediately knew that I could do far more with my voice than I had ever realized. I could conjure an image of the structures and harmonies. The wavelengths of the auditory vibrations were visualized in my mind as if by magic. Soon, I could selectively vibrate an object, just by the placement of my pitch. I can shatter glass and crystal. I can even select the particular target in mind, as opposed to endangering all fragile objects, but it was not these parlour tricks that helped me to gain fame. It was my admittedly enhanced singing skills that brought me much fame and attention. I was getting some good bookings, but alas, I allowed my own need to show off get me in trouble. It started with a single crystal from the grand chandelier of the Paris opera house. I thought it would be a nice touch, to burst a single crystal at the peak of my aria. It worked! It was so fantastically dramatic! The whole house caught their breath. Several ladies let out a whelp of surprise and fear. Though several people were gouged by descending shards of crystal, no one complained. In fact, it was such a thrilling moment, that those wounded were honoured to be a part of that incredible experience. They thanked me profusely for selecting the one particular crystal that would strike them. Others were miffed at me for not having been selected to have deadly shards of lead crystal rain down upon them.”

“The kind managers of the opera house were very happy with me. I apologized, insisting that I had gotten carried away by being able to perform in such a magnificent palace as their opera house, and that I was very sorry for any property damage done. The two gentlemen exchanged a queer look. They then informed me that, though for the briefest of moments, the two men were outraged at my callous impropriety. However, the occupant of a particular box seat, a gentleman of the most mysterious connections with the theater, let it be known that he was happy with the performance. It is said that the box is always reserved for him on the opening night of all the proud opera house’s shows. Because this gentleman has so much influence in the theater for some reason, they decided to let the issue drop. My protector even sent me a dozen roses, but mysteriously, his card only read, ‘P’.”

“Well, I thought to meself, Clarabelle, if one little crystal worked well for a bit of notoriety, maybe I’ll just turn it on just a wee bit more next time.”

“Oh, if I could only go back and do it again.”

“You see, our next show was in Lichtenstein, at the famous GuberGraüberz Hall. Some of the grandest crowned heads of Europe were in attendance. Prince Pimpzle Pauper, Duchess Poutsy Illtempertz, and even Queen Glarezalotte were there.”

“Word had spread of my performance in Paris and there was much excitement for another historic moment to be made. As I grew closer to the crescendo, I could feel the anticipation growing in the audience. I could make out parasols and umbrellas being brought to hand in readiness of a glass shower.”

At the fireside, Clarabelle drops her head in a moment of embarrassment. She then looks back up, much of her previous enthusiasm dampened.

“I was really in the moment. I knew that I was not going to disappoint my audience.”

“As I hit my final, ultimate note, I held it in a moment of extended bliss. I may have heard the chandelier shattering, but in truth, I was caught up in the musical ecstasy.”

“Eventually, I remember to end the note. Opening my eyes, I am shocked at the damage done. Not only has any glass or crystal in the house shattered, even opera glasses or monocles, it has mercifully been powderized back into sand. And there are a lot of monocles in Lichtenstein.”

“The entire audience has been blasted up against the back wall. Along with the seating. And it was bolted down.”

“But I think it was how I was able to peel the gold leaf from the balcony and surrounding ornate parapets that really made a lasting impression.”

“A few of the more sporting vocal enthusiasts provided a polite smattering of applause, but these brave aficionados were quickly shot down with a venomous look by Queen Glarezalotte. Her wig had been knocked asunder, her skirts thrown over her head, and several patrons, along with a few members of the orchestra, had landed atop of her royal highness during the furor of the performance.”

“‘Off with her head!’ the angry woman shrieked! I was very nearly executed on the spot. Fortunately, cooler heads prevailed long enough to rush me out of the wrecked Hall.”

“In a majestic rage, Queen Glarezalotte banished me from the kingdom and did everything she could to have me black-balled throughout the World.”

Several tongue snicks against the roofs of several mouths around the campfire click in sympathy. A few ‘Mmm. mmm, mmm’s,’ too.

There’s more to critique!

After leaving your comments, you can head over to one or more of these blogs to see some more great entries:

Calling All Critiques: Cover Art Entry #7

Jun 3, 2014 | Offers

We’ve had a lot of amazing book covers in our cover art edition of Calling All Critiques! It’s been wonderful to see so much effort put into great design work to fit the storyline and genre. Speaking of which, our final cover is ready to be critiqued!

Author: Lucy Beebe Tobias
Website: http://www.LucyTobias.com
Title: Mary Margaret Manatee: the adventures of a young Florida manatee
Genre: picture book, grandparents, children ages 5-10

Thanks to everyone who participated in the cover art event, and thank you to all the wonderful authors who submitted their covers! We hope you’ve had plenty of useful feedback.

Don’t forget to enter our Rafflecopter giveaway whether you’ve critiqued a cover or submitted one.

Calling All Critiques: Entry #6

May 26, 2014 | Authors, Offers

Thank you, C. Angeles Wolf, for submitting your 500 word entry to Calling All Critiques! We are so happy to post your work and give feedback.

To all those interested in critiquing the work below, please be constructive, proactive, and helpful. Not all feedback has to be positive, but it must help the author improve and/or let him/her know what s/he is doing right and wrong. Your feedback is important to the author, so please provide details and suggestions in a polite way. More info on how to critique here.

Please also make sure to check out our Rafflecopter giveaway for your chance to win two books and an Amazon gift certificate! Critique then enter!

Book Title: The Penumbrae Chronicles: From Ember and Ash
Genre: Urban Fantasy/Fantasy/Sci-Fi

Entry:

His prison was everywhere and nowhere.

Bound in inertia, he was blind, deaf, and mute but aware; immobilized yet vigorous in spirit; confined in sleep but lucid in dreams.

This existence, the enforced stasis, was slow torture. His body was growing steadily feebler while his life force raged within…and therein was the punishment, the…sentencing.

A great many things had been stolen from him.

Caged by his own might, the sorcery containing him powered his prison walls; the more he fought to be free, the more unbreakable his shackles became. In essence, he was a prisoner in and of himself.

Clever, his jailers were.

Meticulously planned, his torment bore insanity in its wake.

Was derangement even now his for vowing to overcome this restraint? He had a great deal left undone; this would not be his end.

He had no freedom, no power in physicality, but he had Will…one with great strength, rooted in Being, rooted in Blood.

He was learning passivity the hard way; he couldn’t waste any more energy raging against himself. Vitality – it was critical he conserve it.

Existence narrowed down to little more than torment…and dreams.

Chapter 1: The Last Outpost

The landscape was a searing empty skillet and it was the sum total of the world around her: nothing but a crust of dead earth, blasted rock and a horizon that enjoyed the chase. As the transport chugged its way across the plain, little else moved but waves of heat shimmying off the scorched landscape.

Earth’s environment was a harsh one, a place of violent weather and no water. Distantly, a massive boiling cloud of soil, dust, and lightning churned through the atmosphere. It stretched over half the horizon, a wrathful paladin unleashed by Mother Nature.

Jade Blackheart turned her outward gaze from the cloudy portal window to the handful of other passengers.

They, too, were journeying across the empty basin once known regionally as the Mid-West, heading for the last outpost of civilization: Frontier Town.

No one among them had the clean-cut appearance of the hospital personnel Jade had familiarized herself with, but so far the trip had been entertaining with a unique array of characters to consider.

The first was an older man whose weary eyes and grandfatherly face didn’t match his crude vocabulary. His traveling companion was a wretched scrawny youth, face full of acne, a mouthful of inflamed gums and plaque-coated teeth. The pair of them wore filth like it was in fashion, rank with old sweat and body odor.

The adolescent caught her looking and waggled his tongue suggestively for her, grabbing at his crotch.

His elder cackled and nudged him with an elbow, then, like the flicking of a switch, cast Jade a baneful glare.

“Look away, bitch!”

The third traveler wasn’t sharing the same reality as the rest of them; with mutterings about a blowtorch and a severed limb, his eyes were shiny bright with mania. He was fully present when he caught her inspection, though, lunging partway out of his seat at her from across the aisle.

Leave your comments below, and take a look at the other entries on Calling All Critiques’ hosts’ blogs:

(Website not yet live) Before Ink Dries – Mike Verbickas
M.G.’s Fantasy Blog – M.G. Silverstein
Magic & Mayhem Book Reviews – S. L. Saboviec
MM Jaye Writes – MM Jaye
Official Blog of Brian Basham – Brian Basham
Proof Positive – Christie Stratos
Quanie Talks Writing – Quanie Miller

Thank you all in advance!

Calling All Critiques: Submit Your First 500 Words Tomorrow

May 23, 2014 | Offers

Quick reminder: Tomorrow (Saturday, May 24) starting at 6 a.m. EDT, we’re accepting entries to the Calling All Critiques event. Next week, we’re doing critiques of your first 500 words.

How to Enter

Submit your entry to Critiques@Saboviec.com. Cut and paste the following template into your email and fill it in.

Your name/pseudonym:
Your website (optional):
Title:
Genre (include audience, such as YA/Adult, and category):
Entry:

Your first 500 words may run slightly over in order to finish at the end of a sentence.

Acceptance of entries closes on Sunday, May 25, at 5 p.m. EDT.

More Details

Questions? Check out some of the earlier blog posts or leave a comment below:

Less than 24 hours before we begin accepting critiques!

While you wait, check out all the participating blogs and bloggers:

(Website not yet live) Before Ink Dries – Mike Verbickas
M.G.’s Fantasy Blog – M.G. Silverstein
Magic & Mayhem Book Reviews – S. L. Saboviec
MM Jaye Writes – MM Jaye (Twitter / Facebook)
Official Blog of Brian Basham – Brian Basham (Twitter / Wattpad / Facebook)
Proof Positive – Christie Stratos
Quanie Talks Writing – Quanie Miller

We look forward to seeing you back here soon!

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Calling All Critiques: Cover Art Entry #7

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Calling All Critiques: Submit Your First 500 Words Tomorrow

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